So… a new year, and a new blog!! You may remember about a year ago this was a travel and ‘days out’ blog called Wonderful Wanders. So where have I been for the past year, and why have I changed it?
The first reason is very simple, travel costs money…and I have no money. Instead of money, I now have a mortgage (and a lovely home of my own of course). The second reason is one that’s had me thinking about what to write in this post since the beginning of 2017…
The blogs I’ve always been drawn to most (and still am) are those ‘perfect’ lifestyle bloggers. The skinny, beautiful people. The ones who drink champagne and go to fashion shows, eat clean and jet off on exotic holidays ever other week.
My eyes are drawn to their perfect instagram feeds like a kid in a candy shop, perfect pictures of perfect lives that take me away from my sometimes mundane, most times imperfect one. I wanted to be just like them.
The thing is…and this took a while to learn, I’ll never be like them, no-one will.
Many (not all) of these blogs are immaculately curated, a heavily edited version of ‘life’ not reflective of anyones real life at all, even those writing it.
Don’t get me wrong, I love these blogs, and what girl wouldn’t enjoy being transported into a world of cocktails, exotic holidays, and shiny shiny hair? However, I think there’s a very fine but very important line between enjoying the fantasy for what it is, and comparing ourselves unfavourably against it.
If we try to live up to unrealistic expectations and fail, as I have many times, we are left feeling like we’re not good enough. We forget that the big bloggers often have publicists and stylists, and are given holidays, designer clothes and VIP invites for free. Under the illusion that this is their normal life, we’re breaking our backs and our bank accounts to keep up with them, and inevitably feeling inadequate when we fall short.
I’ve read quite a few articles lately about how the rise of social media is increasingly responsible for making us feel bad about ourselves. All of our virtual lives are heavily edited, leaving us feeling like we don’t measure up to our friends let alone celebrities.
I understand why no-one is going to choose to post a picture of themselves crying into a tub of Ben and Jerries because of THAT TWAT or the huge zit that appeared on their chin overnight. But to me, it’s more comforting to read a blog that contains an element of the real life situations we all face, rather than how to match your Chanel handbag with your contouring.
I realise that there are many other blogs out there on completely different, and extremely worthwhile subjects. This is just my experience of the ones I was particularly drawn to, and it worries me that other women and young girls are also pursuing the perfect life, destined for dissatisfaction.
Add to this the growing epidemic of depression and anxiety young people like myself are suffering, and you have a recipe for disaster.
I’ve realised now I want my blog to be a tool primarily to help me and others who just ain’t that perfect. Yes I’ll always enjoy following those ‘perfect’ blogs, and will still take inspiration from them. I hope to use them to motivate me to get out more, make an effort to be more positive and enjoy the little things, perhaps even bake a gluten-free cake. But I cannot and will not cut out the disastrous dates, the time I went arse over tit trying to photograph a flower, or the night I got so drunk I threw up in a pint glass (best night ever).
I fail, I mess up, I get dumped, and you know what? That’s ok. I hope my blog will take the pressure off those who are beating themselves up for not having it ‘together’. And if you genuinely do have it together…please give me a call, I need lessons.